Mass women death in San Diego on Euclid ave.

 In a shocker it has been reported that over 200 women have suddenly dropped dead in San Diego, California along the highway 94 by Euclid ave.

Officials say that they think the deaths were probably caused by a disease of greed,tackiness and ratchetness. 


One bystander says he was exiting from the 94 east and saw a group of women dead along the street and was shocked.


"Man I seent it...I was just mindin my business when I ran over one of the bodies...I gets out and sees a red weave underneath my tire...then I saw her...followed by about a hunnid more bodies"


Government officials were called in to remove the bodies. They have not yet released an official statement but are said to believe the incidents involving the birds,fish and cows have no correlation. 


One official said off record "This is totally normal...people drop dead all the time. Do not worry, This is not out of the ordinary at all"


The Euclid deaths follow the mass deaths of birds and fish in parts of the country that began at the onset of 2011.

On New Year's Eve thousands of black birds dropped from the sky in Beebe, AR, suggesting mass poisoning or even a sign of the apocalypse. Days later, thousands of drum fish clogged 20 miles of the Arkansas River in the northwestern section of the state near Ozark.

Then last week, an estimated 300 birds were found on the side of a highway in Alabama. However it is believed that a large vehicle, probably a tractor trailer, was responsible for the deaths.

And just a few days ago 200 cows were found dead on a wisconsin farm.

We all wonder what this could mean. In the meantime I would suggest staying away from any Euclid women as they may be contagious or zombies..or something.

Interview with Ron Artest.

 Shoebocks writer- "Hey Ron...good to finally get a chance to talk to you"

Ron Artest-"Yeah I appreci..appreci...I thank you"

SB-"Well first of all congratulations on Winning the Western Conference and continuing on to your second NBA Finals appearance in 3 years."

RA-"I ain't know them niggas in 200 and 8"

SB-"Well..I mean the Lakers...man...That game 5 buzzer beater you had was AMAZING.."

RA-*looks off*..."Ya I was like Phil don't tell me not to shoot and he give the ball to Kobe but he miss so I remember gettin cigarettes for my mama den tha ball was off the glass all net"

SB-"Wait..what?"

RA-"I play hard everygame..it's just the way a nigga be playin the game ya know?"

SB-"Wait..Ron..you can't say...ahem...nigga"

RA-"Why not"...*plays wit fingernail clipper*

SB-"Okay!..well..let's switch subjects...How is the chemistry between you and Kobe since you know..last year you guys had a lil altercation in the Rockets series"

RA-"When what you talkin bout man?"

SB-Remember this?

RA-"Yah I had maybe hit him on the hand a lil bit he hit me the ref didn't see it so I was like "Ref you didn't see it?" he said no so I said hold on so I could walk to Kobe and tell him to tell the Ref to see it so he could see it but we cool cuz if he don't miss the shot everybody blame me for taking my shot before"

SB-*blankstare*

SB-So um...what about your rapping?...or you still doing that?

RA-"Yup Queensbridge all day cuz the playground I dunk on them niggas in the daytime sometimes Kelis is a fuckin bitch for askin for all that money cuz Illmatic still play when I'm chillin at my house...get it on ITunes"

SB-"Thanks for the interview Ron...I think we're good"

*awkward silence while Ron just stares at me*

SB-"You good Ron?"

RA-"Yes I'm outs...ousdan...I'm okay"

*blankstare*

Interview with Tila Tequila

ShoeBocks writer-So what's goin on Ms. Tequila?

Tila Tequila-Hey guys!...

SB-you know..hangin in there tough...wanted to get you on a interview before you had your baby.

TT-Huh?

SB-Your baby...you having a baby right?

TT-Oh...yeah!..I can feel her kicking!!

SB-Cool...so Is there any chance that you might do another season of your show on MTV?

TT-Maybe..I'm thinking about it...*takes sip of wine*

SB-So how are you holding up?..I know the sudden death of your girlfriend and fiance Casey Johnson had to devastate you.

TT-You don't understand...it hurt me SO bad...I just didn't know what I would do without her!!

SB-So what's the deal with The Game?..you got pregnant from him like 5 weeks later right?

TT-He was there for me...he's such a good guy...but he's a loser...he won't even help me with this baby..

SB-That's fucked up..you suck Game!!

TT-Hell yeah...and I know about sucking...ha ha ha!! *takes sip of wine*

SB-Tila...umm..are you supposed to be drinking while you're pregnant?

TT-Huh?

SB-You're pregnant...

TT-Oh yeah...I can feel him kicking me!!

SB-So are you gay?..are you straight?..everyone wants to know...

TT-I'm definitely me!!..

SB-*sigh*

TT-I just love my baby already....can't wait til she gets here!!

SB-So...you've been doing this singing thing for a while now right?

TT-It's my passion!...all my haters support motivates me so much!!

SB-What's your latest joint called?

TT-It's called "Don't judge me!" you wanna hear it?!!

SB-Well I don't kno....

*Tila sings*

TT-So what you think!!?

SB-I think Foxy Brown will be my next guest...Tila...thanks for the interview...and good luck with your baby umm...girl?...boy?

TT-Huh?

 

Wacka Wacka shot

The upcoming rapper, Wacka Wacka was shot twice by two unknown armed muppets in a local gas station in Atlanta’s National Highway. The 2 gunmen reportedly demanded for the scarf of Wacka Wacka but the muppet refused to give them thus causing the robbers to fire their guns. Wacka Wacka, who’s real name is Fozzie Bear, got hit by the speeding bullets in non-fatal areas. He’s currently in the hospital and sources say he’s in a stable condition.
Wacka Wacka is Kermit the Frog's protege and he’s known for the hit song "Muppet Babies will make your dreams come true" and is also known for saying "Wacka Wacka!!!" under the show "Muppet Babies". The Wacka Wacka shot news should be a good eye opener to Atlanta’s police department for them to further increase their security measures. The location of the said robbery attempt was reportedly near the Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport, an area with lots of activities and people.

At least I think this is the guy...if it's not...oh well..

Surprise Coaching Hire for Dallas

 
       Multiple reports out of Minnesota are saying that the Dallas Cowboys have fired offensive coordinator Jason Garrett & are final contract negotiations with an unknown from the Dallas suburb of Rowlett named Greg Aieollo. It should be noted that this prospect not only has no coaching experience at any level, but also no work experience whatsoever. Why? because he is just 14 years of age.

      After winning a local Madden Football tournement, owner Jerry Jones was impressed with Aieollo's playcalling & initially brought in the high schooler as a consultant in mid-December. Many believe that his hiring was the catalyst that helped propel the Cowboys offense through December & January.

    An unnamed offensive player was reported saying that Aieollo "never looked at the playbook" during the week & on gamedays he would just "sit in the pressbox, calling plays from his PSP."

This story is developing ......

Surprising football prospect out of Miami

No this isn't Sam Bradford...or Colt McCoy...not even Tim Tebow...but this kid right here could be the best NFL Quarterback prospect since Peyton Manning....but who is he?

His name is Joe Aiken and he is a 22 year old quarterback that attends Southeast Miami University. With no football experience he walked on to the team and threw for a school record 934 yards and 8 TD in his first game. NFL Coaches and Scouts automatically took notice and started to come to his games.

Over the next 12 games Aiken threw for a College Football record 13,456 yards and 78 touchdowns with 0 interceptions.

Where did he come from?...How is he able to put up these type of numbers?...Insiders originally thought it was because of where he plays. But they timed him in the 40 and he ran a 4.1 and he has a vertical of 29 inches. His arm strength has been compared to John Elway on steroids.

The secret he says?..

"My Dreads"-Aiken

Dreads?....so your dreadlocks are the reason that you are so good?..

"Yup...I just figured hey..I'm from Miami...I may not be a brother..but I can get dreads and I should be good"

With no experience or nothing?

"Yup...just dreads...I figure everybody in the NFL that has dreads is a beast...so I just figured I'd grow some..it works out for me"

This was Aiken at age 4...when he couldn't even walk straight or spell his name..he would just sit and drool...

 

This is a picture of Aiken at age 7 when he correctly spelled Floccinaucinihilipilification to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee...AFTER growing dreadlocks..

Could dreadlocks really be the key to success??

This story is developing..

Did You Happen To Catch ....

.... that episode of American Idol? No I didn't & do you wanna know why? Because I don't give a shit. Anyway you don't actually have to watch a whole 2 hours of American Idol just to see the "grand finale" of some poor soul making a complete ass of themselves. CNN & any other self respecting news media outlet will beat you senseless with the replay.

"The death toll in Haiti is estimated between 40-50 thousand ....... on a lighter note this Idol contestant wowed the judges & the country with a self written party song ...."