Interview with Ron Artest.

 Shoebocks writer- "Hey Ron...good to finally get a chance to talk to you"

Ron Artest-"Yeah I appreci..appreci...I thank you"

SB-"Well first of all congratulations on Winning the Western Conference and continuing on to your second NBA Finals appearance in 3 years."

RA-"I ain't know them niggas in 200 and 8"

SB-"Well..I mean the Lakers...man...That game 5 buzzer beater you had was AMAZING.."

RA-*looks off*..."Ya I was like Phil don't tell me not to shoot and he give the ball to Kobe but he miss so I remember gettin cigarettes for my mama den tha ball was off the glass all net"

SB-"Wait..what?"

RA-"I play hard everygame..it's just the way a nigga be playin the game ya know?"

SB-"Wait..Ron..you can't say...ahem...nigga"

RA-"Why not"...*plays wit fingernail clipper*

SB-"Okay!..well..let's switch subjects...How is the chemistry between you and Kobe since you know..last year you guys had a lil altercation in the Rockets series"

RA-"When what you talkin bout man?"

SB-Remember this?

RA-"Yah I had maybe hit him on the hand a lil bit he hit me the ref didn't see it so I was like "Ref you didn't see it?" he said no so I said hold on so I could walk to Kobe and tell him to tell the Ref to see it so he could see it but we cool cuz if he don't miss the shot everybody blame me for taking my shot before"

SB-*blankstare*

SB-So um...what about your rapping?...or you still doing that?

RA-"Yup Queensbridge all day cuz the playground I dunk on them niggas in the daytime sometimes Kelis is a fuckin bitch for askin for all that money cuz Illmatic still play when I'm chillin at my house...get it on ITunes"

SB-"Thanks for the interview Ron...I think we're good"

*awkward silence while Ron just stares at me*

SB-"You good Ron?"

RA-"Yes I'm outs...ousdan...I'm okay"

*blankstare*

Interview with Tila Tequila

ShoeBocks writer-So what's goin on Ms. Tequila?

Tila Tequila-Hey guys!...

SB-you know..hangin in there tough...wanted to get you on a interview before you had your baby.

TT-Huh?

SB-Your baby...you having a baby right?

TT-Oh...yeah!..I can feel her kicking!!

SB-Cool...so Is there any chance that you might do another season of your show on MTV?

TT-Maybe..I'm thinking about it...*takes sip of wine*

SB-So how are you holding up?..I know the sudden death of your girlfriend and fiance Casey Johnson had to devastate you.

TT-You don't understand...it hurt me SO bad...I just didn't know what I would do without her!!

SB-So what's the deal with The Game?..you got pregnant from him like 5 weeks later right?

TT-He was there for me...he's such a good guy...but he's a loser...he won't even help me with this baby..

SB-That's fucked up..you suck Game!!

TT-Hell yeah...and I know about sucking...ha ha ha!! *takes sip of wine*

SB-Tila...umm..are you supposed to be drinking while you're pregnant?

TT-Huh?

SB-You're pregnant...

TT-Oh yeah...I can feel him kicking me!!

SB-So are you gay?..are you straight?..everyone wants to know...

TT-I'm definitely me!!..

SB-*sigh*

TT-I just love my baby already....can't wait til she gets here!!

SB-So...you've been doing this singing thing for a while now right?

TT-It's my passion!...all my haters support motivates me so much!!

SB-What's your latest joint called?

TT-It's called "Don't judge me!" you wanna hear it?!!

SB-Well I don't kno....

*Tila sings*

TT-So what you think!!?

SB-I think Foxy Brown will be my next guest...Tila...thanks for the interview...and good luck with your baby umm...girl?...boy?

TT-Huh?

 

Wacka Wacka shot

The upcoming rapper, Wacka Wacka was shot twice by two unknown armed muppets in a local gas station in Atlanta’s National Highway. The 2 gunmen reportedly demanded for the scarf of Wacka Wacka but the muppet refused to give them thus causing the robbers to fire their guns. Wacka Wacka, who’s real name is Fozzie Bear, got hit by the speeding bullets in non-fatal areas. He’s currently in the hospital and sources say he’s in a stable condition.
Wacka Wacka is Kermit the Frog's protege and he’s known for the hit song "Muppet Babies will make your dreams come true" and is also known for saying "Wacka Wacka!!!" under the show "Muppet Babies". The Wacka Wacka shot news should be a good eye opener to Atlanta’s police department for them to further increase their security measures. The location of the said robbery attempt was reportedly near the Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport, an area with lots of activities and people.

At least I think this is the guy...if it's not...oh well..

Surprise Coaching Hire for Dallas

 
       Multiple reports out of Minnesota are saying that the Dallas Cowboys have fired offensive coordinator Jason Garrett & are final contract negotiations with an unknown from the Dallas suburb of Rowlett named Greg Aieollo. It should be noted that this prospect not only has no coaching experience at any level, but also no work experience whatsoever. Why? because he is just 14 years of age.

      After winning a local Madden Football tournement, owner Jerry Jones was impressed with Aieollo's playcalling & initially brought in the high schooler as a consultant in mid-December. Many believe that his hiring was the catalyst that helped propel the Cowboys offense through December & January.

    An unnamed offensive player was reported saying that Aieollo "never looked at the playbook" during the week & on gamedays he would just "sit in the pressbox, calling plays from his PSP."

This story is developing ......

Surprising football prospect out of Miami

No this isn't Sam Bradford...or Colt McCoy...not even Tim Tebow...but this kid right here could be the best NFL Quarterback prospect since Peyton Manning....but who is he?

His name is Joe Aiken and he is a 22 year old quarterback that attends Southeast Miami University. With no football experience he walked on to the team and threw for a school record 934 yards and 8 TD in his first game. NFL Coaches and Scouts automatically took notice and started to come to his games.

Over the next 12 games Aiken threw for a College Football record 13,456 yards and 78 touchdowns with 0 interceptions.

Where did he come from?...How is he able to put up these type of numbers?...Insiders originally thought it was because of where he plays. But they timed him in the 40 and he ran a 4.1 and he has a vertical of 29 inches. His arm strength has been compared to John Elway on steroids.

The secret he says?..

"My Dreads"-Aiken

Dreads?....so your dreadlocks are the reason that you are so good?..

"Yup...I just figured hey..I'm from Miami...I may not be a brother..but I can get dreads and I should be good"

With no experience or nothing?

"Yup...just dreads...I figure everybody in the NFL that has dreads is a beast...so I just figured I'd grow some..it works out for me"

This was Aiken at age 4...when he couldn't even walk straight or spell his name..he would just sit and drool...

 

This is a picture of Aiken at age 7 when he correctly spelled Floccinaucinihilipilification to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee...AFTER growing dreadlocks..

Could dreadlocks really be the key to success??

This story is developing..

Did You Happen To Catch ....

.... that episode of American Idol? No I didn't & do you wanna know why? Because I don't give a shit. Anyway you don't actually have to watch a whole 2 hours of American Idol just to see the "grand finale" of some poor soul making a complete ass of themselves. CNN & any other self respecting news media outlet will beat you senseless with the replay.

"The death toll in Haiti is estimated between 40-50 thousand ....... on a lighter note this Idol contestant wowed the judges & the country with a self written party song ...."

Minaj and her ass take over the world

Apparently Keri Hilson has decided to make a big-league swap and go for what's hot in the streets! She has replaced Trina's verse in Get Your Money Up, with none other than Nicki Minaj. Could be a great move. After all, there is no hotter chick in the game today then Ms. Bedrock. Cause for concern... there are only a couple of female rappers with hits out right now. Will this create conflict between the ladies?

Women have always been so much worse at working together in the music world then the fellas. Why turn the only 2 female rappers against each other? No matter what Trina may say, she's not going to be happy about this move. If there's a hit video and it gets into regular airplay, Trina is gonna throw a fit, but with good reason! Most people with common sense would. I was actually shocked to see the two of them working together on the 5 Star Chick remix. But then realized, Trina musta shot the video on location somewhere because never was she in the video with the rest of them. What is going on?! Can we get some genuine bonding with these women?

What about a collabo cd like R Kelly and Jay Z. Omarion and Bow Wow... you know "cause I'm the rapper, and he's the dancer". That kinda love! Is the game that ugly? We just might hear about some leakage in the Minaj camp if Trina gets ahold of one of those plastic Barbie parts. Come on ladies... we gots ta do betta!!

WTF you doin Faceass?

Recent news reports out of LA has Jackson 5 member Jermaine Jackson was recently involved in a incident at a hotel in Los Angeles.


Reports show that Mr. Jackson was looking out of his window when fans of Jermaine's new show on VH1 with his brothers started crowding outside the front of the hotel cheering for him and yelling his name.


Jermaine wanting to show the fans how much he loved them reportedly dangled his greasy hairpiece outside the window for 30 seconds.



"This has got to be the most irresponsible thing he has EVER done"-Anonymous fan outside


"I can't believe he would endanger the poor thing like that"-Young woman


"I could dangle my faux hawk way better than that"-Kanye West


this story is still developing...stay tuned

Music you should be listening to...

Mr. Ben Hudson...you may only know him as the voice from the chorus of "Young Forever" on Jay-Z's album Blueprint 3...but he's been doing his thing for a minute now..

He's a British Pop/RnB singer who had a band called Mr. Hudson & the Library and he's signed to Kanye West's label G.O.O.D music...

I checked out his new album "Straight No Chaser" and I gotta say...dude has some skills....He's no Justin Timberlake with the vocals but none the less his music just sounds good to you..."Supernova" features Kanye West and my favorite joint is "There will be Tears"...it's just good music to ride to....

Check him out...you'll be able to tell folks that you were up on him before everybody is jammin him...

Word

Interview with Trey Songz

Shoebocks-"So what's good Trey!!"


Trey Songz-"Yup!"


SB-"First off congratulations on your album "Ready"...man that's a babymaker right there"


TS-"That right there is a panty dropper...YUP!!"


SB-"Yeah my dude...you came a long way from the lil guy from Virginia singin wit Twista"


TS-"yYUP!...yYUP!!!..."


SB-"And you just kinda blew up all the way now...I mean...rumors about you dating Keri Hilson,Toni Braxton and a whole goo gwap of chicks..."


TS-"Hey man...I need a girl"


SB-"Hey dude...me too...can we hang!"


TS-"Anytime man...i mean anytime!"


SB-*confused look*..."Okay...umm...so what's with this beef with you and R.Kelly?...people are saying you are the new him...you even had that track on the D.O.A. beat that sounded like a shot at Kellz...is that beef legit?"


TS-"naw man Kellz is the king...I'm the prince though...the neighbors know my name man.."


SB-"that's wsup...okay now...there's a recent rumor out right now...and I'm not gonna jump into conclusions...so let's just get it..


TS-"YUP!"


SB-"Songz...do you know Brandon Hines?"


TS-"YUPPPP!"



SB-"How ummm...well do you know him?"


TS-"I recorded with him...he's a great talent...we had some great moments in the studio.."



SB-"ohkay...umm...okay..umm...Do you guys double date?..I mean...ya'll must get all the chicks"


TS-"Well I mean we hang out a lot....that's my dude"


SB-"no homo right?"


TS-"huh?"


SB-"No homo....right?"


TS-"oh yeah...yeah...no homo"


SB-"COOL!...okay..so the rumors are false right?"


TS-"I'm a man dog"


SB-"right...so...well they are saying you're bi-sexual....I know that ain't true right?"


TS-"I'm not gonna confirm that rumor"


SB-"Okay...well it's cool....so what other things are you up to right now?"


TS-"I'm starting a new underwear for men line called "Does he do it""


SB-"no homo right?"



TS-"What?"


SB-"no homo...right?"



TS-"man I ain't gay"


SB-"never said that..."


TS-"People be hating....I don't even know Brandon Hiney Hine or Brey brey Graham"


SB-"but you just said you did songs with Brandon and you did "Successsful" with Drake"


TS-"YUP!"


SB-"Okay Trey...well...I'll see you later man....congrats on the album again and much success to you aight?"


TS-"YuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuP....call me!!!


SB-"Cool!..I'll hit you up..no homo"


TS-"Hit me up!"


SB-"No homo right?"


TS-"huh?"

Interview with Bill Belichick

 This was the Shoebocks' postgame interview with Bill Belichick head coach of the New England Patriots

He's a very animated guy....we had trouble keeping him calm today...

Enjoy!

Shoebocks-"Hey Bill good to see you"

Bill Belichick-"Hey"

SB-"So it wasn't quite the ending to the season you had in mind was it?.."

BB-"no"

SB-"Well what happened?..your first home playoff loss since before we were born?"

BB-"Well we just didn't play well enough to win"

SB-"Man they were sending Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs after Brady all game!!!"

BB-"yeah we didn't stop em"

SB-"No shit stupid..ahem..I mean...so did they do anything different to try and slow those guys down?"

BB-"not sure we just didn't do a good job of protection"

SB-"What about Brady's three interceptions and a fumble?...did that help the Ravens?"

BB-"Well u can't turn the ball over and expect to win"

SB-"umm..Coach...do you have any answers at all today?"

BB-"We just didn't play well"

SB-"So what about next year?...will you make any changes?"

BB-"gotta do something to win"

SB-"Man you borin as shit coach"

BB-"thanks"

Sade

I can't wait until February 9th....Sade's "Soldier of Love" hits stores....with Maxwell coming out last year...it's about time we are being blessed with some real music....Plus at the age of 50...shout out to her birthday coming up on Saturday...she could still get it....on some marriage type shenanagans...

Word

Skinny Jeans

I'ma laugh my ass off when your nuts explode...

Nice guys need to STFU

 You know what I'm tired of...I'm tired of my fellas always complaining that all women out there only want thugs and guys that do them wrong...I'ma tell you the truth...

Women do not like Thugs..it's 2010...Ladies correct me if I'm wrong...but I'll tell you why..

1. Women like guys with a edge...guys that take charge...guys that are confident in themselves and their approach...not guys who act shy and are content to let all women throw them in the "Friend Zone"...

2. Fellas either make the mistake of trying too hard to impress a woman...or trying too hard to be that asshole type...hey man....that's not you...be yourself...shit....women can sniff out a imposter faster than a Tiger Woods text...POW....

3. Get to know the woman first...you try and throw all that slick shit and money at a woman...then get mad when they don't take you serious...a woman wants a man...not a rapper wannabe...

4. Stop talking to her like she's the Queen of England...be real...she's a person too...chances are she is just ready to have fun on the first date...

5. If she doesn't connect with you...don't blame her...or yourself...it just didn't work...move on..I get tired of guys trying to get the pity party going by sayin "Nice guys finish last...regular guys can't get a break"....then his homegirls...(who are all fine btw) come to him saying..."well you'll find the one...just keep looking"...that guy will never find the one...

6. IMPORTANT...maybe you're just trying to get women that obviously aren't compatable wit you....the class nerd isn't going to date the video vixen...you're better off without her...Looks aren't everything...but you can't get in the door without em...

7.Don't bring that gentleman shit in the bedroom...Ladies hate nothing more than to let a guy get the draws...and he's being all nice....asking her what she wants him to do...what will make her feel good...apologizing all the damn time...grow a pair...take charge....that's why ladies like the "Thug" type....not the thug but that characteristic...he takes charge...confidence is sexy to a woman..

Discuss..

Good Morning

Good Morning Folks....Today I want you to grab this day...regardless of what happened yesterday...and make the most of it...yesterday is gone...today is brand new...worry about you..and keep it pushin...OWWW!

Music Mixtape of the day

AOS-Dirty South RnB "The Workout Edition"

Rate it....Hot or Lame...

Mark McGuire

Hey FaceAss...We're not surprised...the End...

The Club

Honestly...who isn't amused by the actions that go on in the club?....I've spent time in clubs in Dallas,San Diego,Atlanta,Houston as well as overseas in Singapore,Bahrain and Dubai...I love chillin wit my folks at the clubs but I thought I'd give a lil observational report on what I see and let you know the rules of the club...enjoy

1. Fellas it is perfectly okay to buy a woman a drink...DURING a conversation....do NOT walk up to her and immediately offer to buy her a drink...she will think that either a)You are a creep who put a roofie in her drink or b)she will tell all her girls that she found a trick to make sure they all drink all night....Here's a tip...talk to her...engage conversation...and if she happens to finish her drink while you are conversing then re-fill it for her...

2. Ladies-Never....I repeat...never...take your shoes off in the club....that's ratchet..I've never felt the pain associated with walking around for 3 hours in 6 inch heels...but wtf you do that for anyway?

3. Fellas-Stop wearing shades in the club...you sound real stupid sayin you don't want everyone looking into your soul when you work at Verizon...

4.Ladies-We can tell if you're desperate....you're the one that can't find your homegirls after the club lets out...Females that are just having a good time ALWAYS have a vice grip hand hold on their friends

5. Fellas-Stop standing outside the club after it closes...you'll only get that girl that'll throw up in your car on the way home....then you're not a player...you're Quagmire

6. Ladies-You don't want a guy to bother you?...be honest..what we hate more than getting turned down is receiving a fake phone number...if you don't wanna fuck wit us....just tell us you're engaged...9 outta 10 guys will respect that...

7. Bonus: We know when you ladies are lying...No we don't believe you left your phone at home...we know you won't call if you put our number in your friends phone...and you won't call if you take our number...

8.Fellas-Stop stalkin a chick cuz you bought her a 8 dollar lemon drop....no quicker way to lose the pussy you might have got...

9. Ladies-You get down on all fours at any time during the night...or get picked up...every guy in the club will come up behind you and put his thang in the crack of your ass...

10.Fellas-Ladies think there is nothing worse than a guy standing outside arguing with the bouncer about why he can't wear tennis shoes...or why is it 20 bucks to get in....if you're that cheap and don't know how to clean up...don't go...9 outta 10 clubs will have a dress code....prepare for it...

Part 2 tomorrow....

Avatar

So I was reading that there are some critics out there who think Avatar is a good movie but has racial undertones...the whole "White man come be the savior" theme...and although I'm usually always on some "Let's call Al and Jesse " type shit..this isn't one of those cases...I saw the movie (on bootleg don't judge me)...and I liked it....and saw no racial shit on there...True they have a group of people that are minding their own business when another group of people "Sky folk" come through trying to move them outta their home...now the way I saw it I just saw the movie being about respecting others differences...not race....and what's even more fucked up is that now that people are saying this...it is putting forth a notion that we still can't get over racism...yeah there are still ignorant folks out there...but damnit we ain't gotta turn everything into being about some damn race....Discuss this issue